“A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.” Proverbs 14:29

One of my all-time favorite school teacher stories is about a kindergarten teacher who at the end of an exasperating day had to put boots on all 31 of her students before she sent them out in the snow. As she struggled to lace up the last boot on the foot of the 31st student, the child looked at her and said, “These aren’t my boots.” Thinking that she would have to go back and re-boot the whole class, she furiously ripped off the boots only to hear the kindergartener say, “They’re my sister’s boots, but my mom let me wear them today.”

Does life ever try your patience? Of course it does. There is just something about being born on this planet that makes us vulnerable to snap, often destructive, responses to life’s inevitable stress.

What is it that pushes you to the edge? Is it that guy who keeps cutting you off in heavy traffic or your daughter who keeps snapping her bubble gum every 10 seconds? It’s different for all of us, but we’ve all experienced that temptation to explode when somebody or something stomps on our frayed nerves.

I hate to up the pressure, but it’s in moments of near-nuclear explosions that we find out how closely we’re walking with the Lord. Galatians 5:22 says, “And the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience.” When life takes us to the edge, it’s easy to tell if we are being controlled by the Holy Spirit, or whether our old nature is going to step up to manage the situation.

Being patient doesn’t mean that we morph into milk-toast people for Jesus, with no fire in our belly. But the kind of patience that the Spirit wishes to produce does bring restraint to our anger. Anger always clouds good judgment while patience helps us stand back and evaluate the tension in a constructive way. As our text says, “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.”

Patience says “no” to our “gut reaction” to do the first thing that comes to mind. When your gut reaction is: “I’m quitting this job right now!” patience says, “Why don’t you give it a few days and pray about it. Think about how this will affect your future and your family.” Patience gives you the space you need to make better decisions. An impulsive “I’m heading to the dealership right now to buy that new car!” may need patience to slow you down long enough to ask yourself, “What’s wrong with the car I have? Is there anything better that God would want me to do with the money?”

And, patience may just get your anxious little self out of the way so that God can accomplish what He has in mind through the trial that has you so frazzled. The psalmist helps us when he says, “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord” (Psalm 27:13-14 NASB).

And Isaiah assures us that “those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary” (Isaiah 40:31 NASB).

So all together now: Let’s take a deep breath, step back, and patiently wait for Him to manage your response. No wonder patience is called a virtue!

YOUR JOURNEY…

• Read Galatians 5:22; Colossians 1:10-11; Matthew 6:14-15. What does patience tell you about your walk with Christ?
• Reflect on a time in your life when it was hard for you to have patience. Did you depend on the Holy Spirit for supernatural help? How did the situation turn out and how might it have turned out differently?
• Write down the top three areas in your life that currently require patience. Remember to trust God in these situations and to look for what He is doing and for what He would have you do to be constructive.

Ladies and Gentlemen

This love dare is so critical that we will extend our coverage time.  Practice the meeting and leaving remarks and actions to your spouse.  Really make an effort for them and see how much better it makes your day go.

Let this meditation carry you thru the day.

Every morning I get up. Sometimes I have a plan for my day. Sometimes I’ve only a few things scheduled. It is the days I have little planned that I often find God prompting me to do specific things. I wonder if that is because I am more open to His voice; I have no preconceived ideas. I don’t get annoyed when my schedule is interrupted, or circumstances cause me to change a course of action. Instead, I’m relaxed and resting in His Spirit. My days go so much better on those days. And for some reason I seem to get far more accomplished.

“Thus says the Lord, Stand by the roads and look, and ask for the eternal paths, where the good, old way is; then walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.” Jeremiah 6:16b

What is “the good, old way”? Could it be the commandments of the Lord? What does the Lord require of us, exactly? “To fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, and to serve the Lord your God with all your mind, heart and with your entire being.”

I think if we follow that directive, our lives will fill with more joy, love and contentment. I think our conscience would be clearer and we’d have less guilt; the accuser could not penetrate the peace of God in our hearts. And as we walked in all His ways, our souls would be at rest. 

Stand.  Look.  Ask.  Walk.  Then rest.  Not such a hard thing when you look at it His way.

Whatever our hands touch-
We leave fingerprints!
On walls, on furniture
On doorknobs, dishes, books.
Smudges, showing we were there!
Oh God, wherever I go today
Help me leave heart prints!
Heart prints of compassion
Of understanding and love.
Heart prints of kindness
And genuine concern.
May my heart touch a lonely neighbor
Or a runaway daughter
Or an anxious mother
Or perhaps an aged grandfather.
Lord, send me out today
To leave heart prints
And if someone should say
“I felt your touch,”
May that one feeling be
YOUR loving touch
Lord, through ME.

This is a critical love dare.  It has to do with how we meet and greet our spouse.  It is the first words in the morning and before we go to sleep.  It is how we receive our spouse when they come home or when we enter our home.  Those very first words, looks and behaviors set the tone and determine how our spouse responds to us.

So plan over the next 24 hours how you will do the following:

What you will say first thing tomorrow

What you will say when you or they leave tomorrow morning

What you will say and do when you or they return

What you will say or do the last thing tomorrow evening.

I will post the next dare day after tomorrow.  I want you to think, pray and plan on how you can set the mood in those moments.  Do not do it for some selfish plan guys.  Do it no matter the response.  Remember, are your first words and acts positive and encouraging.

Share some of your experiences if you will.  Michael

1 Peter 5:14 (NIV)
¹⁴ Greet one another with a kiss of love. Peace to all of you who are in Christ.

Luke 15:20 (NIV)
²⁰ So he got up and went to his father. "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

2 Corinthians 13:12 (NIV)
¹² Greet one another with a holy kiss.

Ephesians 4:2 (NLT)
² Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

“You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.”   Hebrews 10:36

God purposes the timing and manifestations of His promises.  Though some seem a long time coming, they are not.  Though the wait may feel like God has forgotten, He has not.  God’s timing is perfect, and His patience is great.

Consider Elizabeth and Mary.  Despite their great difference in age, both women were pregnant with promised sons simultaneously.  The timing of each pregnancy was purposed according to God’s plan as was their children’s destinies.

What has God promised you?  Has He delivered yet?  How’s your faith?

2 Peter 3:8 says, “a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.”

Perseverance in obedience is the key to receiving the promises of God.  And when we get off track, repentance is key.

In Psalm 119, we see that God gives us hope through His promises (vs. 49).  He preserves our lives through His promises (vs. 50).  He supplies us with grace according to His promises (vs. 58).  And we are to meditate on and rejoice in His promises (vs. 148, 162).

God's heart within us and the fulfillment of His promises allow us to forgive those who disappointed us on a greater level.  When we expect people, not God, to fulfill promises only God can fulfill, we must repent and release them to Him.  False expectations can hold us in bondage and cause us to miss God’s very best for our lives.

What have you expected and have not yet received?  How are you handling the situation?  Are you praising God throughout the process?  Has your mind been on Him or on your circumstances?  How about your heart?  Do you know that God loves you enough to bring fulfillment, to be true to His word.  Do you trust Him enough?

Have you asked God what His will is?  Have you asked Him what you are supposed to complete before He fulfills His promise?

The fulfillment of God’s promises points toward Him as the one true God.  David’s prayer in 2 Samuel 7:25-26 says, “And now, Lord God, keep forever the promise You have made concerning Your servant and His house.  Do as You promised, so that Your name will be great forever.  Then men will say, ‘The Lord Almighty is God over Israel!’  And the house of Your servant David will be established before You.”

When God fulfills His promises, do we give Him all the glory?  Is it all about Him?  Is He first on our hearts?

Psalm 145:13 says, “The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made.”

Jeremiah 32:19 says, “great are Your purposes and mighty are Your deeds.  Your eyes are open to all the ways of men; You reward everyone according to his conduct and as his deeds deserve.”

May we receive the full measure of God’s promises by being obedient to His will.

Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and reject all thoughts of jealousy.  To set your heart in the right place, take the list of negatives you made yesterday and destroy it.  Then focus on a recent success or accomplishment of your spouse and tell them how glad and proud you are of them.

Give jealousy no chance.

Song of Songs 8:6 (NLT)
⁶ Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame.

Proverbs 27:4 (NIV)
⁴ Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?

Deuteronomy 4:24 (NIV)
²⁴ For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.

James 3:16 (NLT)
¹⁶ For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.

“But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet show I unto you a more excellent way.” 1 Corinthians 12:31

Satan always gives the best first and the worst last. For example, Proverbs 20:17 says, “The bread of deceit is sweet, but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel.”  With Satan, it always starts sweet, but it does not end that way.

Satan is a counterfeiter and a deceiver, and he is guilty of false advertising. 

• He doesn’t show the drunkard in the gutter covered with flies.  
• He doesn’t show the addict shaking uncontrollably from another night of detox.  
• He doesn’t show the ruined lives from sexually transmitted diseases.

He always gives the best first and the worst last. Jesus gives the best last.

Do you have a teenager in your home? Then, work a mission with them in our youth group or go with them to visit the jail.  Let them see the outcome of what looks so easy.

Michael

There is a private score card we keep in our minds of our partner's positive and negative characteristics.  By now you have become more familiar with both and merciful in each.  Somewhere jot down a few of those characteristics in a place where they can be kept private and store them away.  They will each have their purpose in time. 

At some point today, pick one of those from the positive list you have shared recently and thank your spouse for that virtue or value.

1 Corinthians 13:7 (NLT)
⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Proverbs 10:12 (GW)
¹² Hate starts quarrels, but love covers every wrong.

Song of Songs 8:7 (NIV)
⁷ Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.

1 Peter 4:8 (NLT)
⁸ Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life.

St. Francis of Assisi

Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation.  Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your relationship.  Then list any wrong motivations (selfishness, anger, etc.) that you need to release from your life.  Now practice that mercy in your life.

Proverbs 16:32 (NLT)
³² Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city.

Colossians 3:12-14 (NLT)
¹² Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
¹³ Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
¹⁴ Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.

Matthew 12:34 (NLT)
³⁴ You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say.

Ephesians 4:31 (NLT)
³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.

Gen 19:24-26 Then the LORD rained on Sodom and Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven,  and He overthrew those cities, and all the valley, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and what grew on the ground.  But his wife, from behind him, looked back; and she became a pillar of salt. (NAS)

There are times when people do a lot of looking back. Even in our relationships.

Lot's wife was focused on her home in Sodom. She had put down roots, made friends and made a home there. Her heart was there. She didn't want to leave, even knowing what God had told her through the angelic messengers. Her desire was to be in Sodom. They had left everything in great haste. I can imagine the angels had literally taken the family by the wrists and ran out of town to get them to leave.

Looking back in retrospect, to evaluate progress is not a bad thing at all. It helps us to see where we are growing and where we need to work on trusting God a little more. The goal is to reach a point of reckless abandonment to Jesus Christ - total trust. This means giving up a little more of our own wills and allowing the Lord to have control of our hearts, lives and desires. That can be a very scary thing, until you come to know that He is completely trustworthy.

2 Tim 2:11-13 It is a trustworthy statement: for if we died with Him, we shall also live with Him; If we endure, we shall also reign with Him; if we deny Him, He also will deny us;  If we are faithless, He remains faithful; for He cannot deny himself. (NAS)

Marking progress in your walk as a Christian can be a two-edged sword. The more we grow, the more of our hearts the Lord allows us to see. The more we see, the more we know our own depravity and need. The more we know, the closer we want to be to Jesus. Because we are learning to trust Him, that is where our heart is. And since that is where are hearts are, that is where our lives and desires will turn toward.

Of all the things that we have as possessions, our friendships with our spouse and other believers are some of the few things that we will take with us from this world. To look back over your life and know that it has been lived in service and friendship to others will have its own reward. These will be treasures beyond measure.

Matt 6:19-21 "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  "But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal;  for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. (NAS)

If our hearts are toward Jesus, then Heaven is our home. That is where we should be placing the things we value. Our houses and cars will never get there. Diamond rings and heirlooms will be passed along to our children and grandchildren. But, if we are willing to share the love and peace we have with Jesus with our family and friends, they can be considered safely stored away in Heaven. When we look back one last time from Heaven's gates and know there is nothing left behind that we value, turning and walking in will be the thing we desire the most.

Lord Jesus, thank You. For all the victories and failures alike, know that You have orchestrated then all and can use them to teach us the things You have for us. Help us to abandon ourselves to You more each day. Give us courage to walk through this life not hiding the light we have within us. Fill us to overflowing so that we can not help but reach out to others. Amen.

Ask your spouse to tell you three things that you do or say that cause them to be uncomfortable or irritated with you.  Listen to them without justifying yourself or attacking them.  This is from their perspective only and for your insight. 

Proverbs 27:14 (GW)
¹⁴ Whoever blesses his friend early in the morning with a loud voice— his blessing is considered a curse.

Proverbs 25:24 (GW)
²⁴ Better to live on a corner of a roof than to share a home with a quarreling woman.

Psalm 112:5 (NIV)
⁵ Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely, who conducts his affairs with justice.

Luke 6:31 (NLT)
³¹ Do to others as you would like them to do to you.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. —Proverbs 3:5

God, this world’s problems are so complicated that I cannot make my way without Your guidance.
Quicken my mind and deepen my understanding.  Help me hear Your voice and heed your advice.  Keep me walking along the path behind you.
Amen.

2 John 6 If we love God, we will do whatever he tells us to. And he has told us from the very first to love each other.

Psalms 36:7 How precious is your constant love, O God! All humanity takes refuge in the shadow of your wings.

We are to love God and love People. Simple saying...yet profoundly true. It's a bottom-line truth. It is a core value that all of us Christians should have and be willing to stand for at anytime under any circumstance.

Acts 14:22 where they helped the believers to grow in love for God and each other. They encouraged them to continue in the faith in spite of all the persecution, reminding them that they must enter into the Kingdom of God through many tribulations.

Are you an encouragement to others to love God and love people? Can others look at your life and think, "that person loves God and loves people?" Are you happy?

2 Corinthians 13:11 I close my letter with these last words: Be happy. Grow in Christ. Pay attention to what I have said. Live in harmony and peace. And may the God of love and peace be with you.

1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us practice loving each other, for love comes from God and those who are loving and kind show that they are the children of God, and that they are getting to know him better.

 

Dear Lord, Help us to have that childlike faith. Help us to remember what it was like when we first believed. Help us to gain back the awesome feeling of love that swept over us when we first understood just how big You are and just how much You love us. Lord. Help us to love the hard-to-love. Help us to encourage others to love You more and love people more. We praise you and thank you Father for your unconditional love that gave us through your Son Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, Who died for us, Whose love for us held Him to a wooden cross, we thank you for the most awesome love story ever written. It was written in blood on an old rugged cross two thousand years ago. In His precious name, Amen.

Thoughtfulness is the trademark of a good relationship.  It combats the human tendency to take others for granted, especially our spouse.  Thinking of our spouse throughout the day helps us to see the opportunities to be thoughtful that would otherwise slip by us.

Contact your spouse sometime during the business of this day.  Have no other agenda than to ask how she or he is doing and if there is anything you can do for them.  Let them know that you are thinking about them.